I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a post about my Panic Disorder since I started my blog. The main reason I haven’t written a post, is because I am concerned that writing about it, could be a trigger for me, and at the moment I’m in a good place and my Panic Disorder is under control.
More recently, I have been put off writing about it because of the sheer amount of bloggers writing about issues they have in relation to mental health, and my concern that it is now becoming ‘fashionable’ to have a mental health issue. Firstly, let me say that I do not think negatively of bloggers who share their personal experience and this is in no way meant to take away from their brave act of sharing. The reason I have come to think that it is in some way ‘fashionable’ is because of items such as the cushion from ASOS which read “I can’t keep calm and carry on, I have an anxiety disorder”. I found this disgusting. Anxiety disorders are debilitating conditions, and you do not see anyone making fun of other illnesses, so why is it OK to make fun of mental health? It is not funny. I’m also concerned that other bloggers may think I’m ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ if I write a post, and for me, Panic Disorder was a major part of my teenage years into my early twenties, something which I do not take lightly.
I was diagnosed at 17 with Panic Disorder, having suffered from the age of 12/13. Thinking back I displayed OCD tendencies from a much younger age; having to touch things a certain number of times, having to continuously wash my hands etc. I have tried almost every alternative therapy going, CBT and finally medication, which I still take daily. Most people will experience panic attacks, nervousness or anxiety. Panic Disorder is not like that. If you’d asked me 10 years ago where I’d be at 25, I’d have probably answered you that I don’t know if I’ll be here at 25.
Right now that is as much detail as I am willing to divulge, due to the aforementioned reasons.
I wonder if those in the ‘bloggersphere’ are all so similar that so many of us have experienced some form of mental illness, or is it the sheer statistic that so many of us will experience mental illness at some point in our lives, or lastly, is it because successful bloggers have shared their experience and it is now ‘fashionable’ to share any experience you have had in this?
Like I said, my intention is not to be negative about anyone who has shared, I think you are very brave, especially as I know sharing/discussing/talking about your issues can be a trigger, right now I don’t know if I’m ready or able to do that.
I’d be interested to know what you think. Do you too worry that it is becoming ‘fashionable’ to have suffered with your mental health? Or perhaps I’m being paranoid…
Lauren xx